You meet someone and instantly feel like you made a love connection only to realise you have been blindsided when he starts ghosting after he’s reached into the cookie jar. Did you miss the red flags? Or were you just oblivious to the signs? But he seemed so genuine… Hun, we have all been there. We admit it’s not always easy to tell and in some rare cases the guy may have genuinely cared for you but chickened out due to a fear of commitment. Whatever it is, if you’re looking for a genuine partner you need to keep your feelers out for these telltale signs that he just wants to get in your pants and bolt:
1. He Says He’s Never Met Anyone As Amazing As You
It’s different if she says this after you’ve been dating for months but it’s a warning sign if he says it on your first or second date and you barely even know each other! He’s trying to build false intimacy and trust. He’s also probably fallen for his fantasy version of you and vice versa. “Beware when this happens because his so-called compliment is built on lust,” says Ideal Introductions Chief Matchmaker Linda Prescott.
2. He’s All Over You In Public
We get it…the flirting and the naughty sex talk is exciting but if a guy continues this in public by being overly handsy, it’s time to take a step back. Try telling him it makes you uncomfortable and see how he reacts. If he checks himself and starts making efforts on getting to know you – great! But if he starts acting immature about it, it’s clear he has sex on the brain and is just looking to score.
3. Sex Becomes A Defining Part Of Your Relationship
Does he start expecting sexual payback after he takes you out or does something nice? “Anyone who guilt trips you into sex isn’t interested in a long-lasting relationship,” says Linda.
4. He Hasn’t Found Himself
Sometimes fake romantics hide behind the façade to avoid facing up to what they lack in their own lives. It’s a hard pill to swallow but a man needs to have a relationship with himself and be confident in his own skin first before he can even attempt to build a solid relationship with anyone else. And though you may think you found the perfect person (and he’s said all the right things or ticked all the right boxes), timing is everything and he might be in a place where he’s just looking for a bit of fun. How you can figure this part out is to get him to talk about himself to gauge how content he is about his life.
5. “I Just Want Sex”
If he tells you outright that sex is all he wants and not a relationship, you better believe him. It’s tempting to go into it thinking that you can change a man’s mind or tame a ‘beast’. Reality is you really can’t change anyone’s mind once it’s made up. Life isn’t a movie – remember that. So if he says he doesn’t want a relationship, it’s best to nip this connection in the bud and walk away.
Sometimes, the above might not be as clear cut but we all have a built in security system that warns us when things seem too good to be true so always trust your gut. It’s rarely wrong. If you’ve been burnt too many times and are looking for someone who is ready for commitment, talking to a matchmaker could be a good move!