Being in a relationship that you hope will lead to something long-term can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. When you think you’ve found “The One,” you’re going to do all you can to make sure they’re really it. Sometimes, that can unfortunately lead to a little bit of over-analysing and overthinking on your part. When you’re overthinking in a relationship, nothing good ever really comes out of it.
1. Are you spending too much time deciding on what words to text
If you ever spent a long time going back and forth with yourself over what you’re going to text them, you might be overthinking things. And if you ever spent half an hour trying to decode a simple text from them to find some sort of hidden meaning, you could be over-analysing in that respect too.
So take your time getting to know them by talking to them and don’t let texts control how your day is going to go.
2. Are you always asking others for advice
The tendency to overthink usually comes from a place of previous hurt. When you’ve been hurt in a previous relationships it makes it harder to trust what’s right in front of you. This behavior harms relationships because “it creates a continual pull back into the past.” In short, it keeps you feeling stuck.
When you’re stuck, you might reach out to friends or family for advice to try to find a way out of those feelings of hurt or insecurity. So if you find yourself asking for advice over and over again, that may be a sign you’re overthinking too much. Use some time to pause and evaluate how you actually feel, maybe things aren’t as bad as you think.
3. Do you always have a ‘what if’ to worry about
There are two types of people who overthink a relationship, one is the controller personality that pretty much overthinks everything. They want to prepare for the negative and tend to overthink .The other is the individual who leans towards insecurity. When you’re insecure, your mind will always take you to the negative side of a situation.
Regardless of which type you tend to be, overthinkers have the ability to instantly find alternative possibilities to reality. In other words, you’ve probably thought of all the different kind of “What If” scenarios you can possibly think of.
If you want to break out the cycle, slow down and become aware of how often you’re turning assumptions into facts about your relationship.It’s important to use that time to evaluate both what can go wrong and what can also go really right.
4. You don’t trust what’s happening in the present
Certain individuals who overthink don’t typically trust that what they see and experience is the whole truth. There’s always this underlying anxiety and questioning about whether your partner really wants you like they say they do.
If you stay grounded in the present you will reduce the anxiety and tendency to allow your thoughts to spin. Remind yourself to stay present in the moment, rather than dwelling on the possibility of negative outcomes.
5. Are you constantly thinking of the future
If you’re constantly worrying about what your relationship will be like two months from now or what you two are going to be doing for Christmas, you may be overthinking your relationship too much. Focus on the present instead of always thinking about what the future holds and the end goal of the relationship, take time to enjoy whatever phase you’re in currently.
6. Are you always wondering what your partner thinks of you
Instead of worrying so much about what your partner really is or isn’t thinking about you or the relationship, fall back in love with yourself. Make peace with who you are and what you bring to the relationship. When you’re at peace with yourself, you’re more likely to realise which thoughts are just thoughts and which ones are actual fact.
7. Are you always questioning what your partner actually means
If your partner speaks in generalities it can leave you wondering what they specifically meant. For instance, you might ask them how they feel about you and they respond with a, “You know how I feel.” So to alleviate any concerns, ask your partner for clarification. You can go down a spiraling rabbit hole if you allow your mind to wander into unknown territory.
Being forthcoming with the truth is one of the best ways to avoid misunderstandings. If they say “lets keep things casual’ and you don’t know what the definition of that is, ask for clarification. What casual means to them can be completely different with what casual means to you.
Understand that overthinking your relationship just happens, especially when you really like someone and you want it to work out. But if you take a step back and think about it, over-analysing everything is neither fun nor healthy. It may be hard to slow down and just let things happen as they come, but it may be worth it in the end.