Can a relationship built on lies last? Before we reveal what a matchmaker thinks, consider this:
Nine’s Married At First Sight participant Jessika Power starts out as Mick Gould’s wife but somewhere down the line falls “in love” with Dan Webb, husband to Tamara Joy. Jess’s defends the forbidden relationship saying that she deserves to find love because that was why she came into the experiment. Dan confesses that he decided to act on his attraction towards Jess because he too was adamant about finding his true love. They then exit the experiment as a couple, leaving viewers to wonder if they will last as a couple. While it might be both entertaining and shocking to be watching couples swap partners on a reality TV show, a real question remains: Can a relationship built on lies last?
Can a Relationship Built on Lies Last? What the Matchmaker Says
Relationship Expert and Ideal Introductions Chief Matchmaker Linda Prescott said, “If they did it to others, they will do it to you.” More often than not, relationships built on lies do not last simply because of the way it started. Many people will have “noble” reasons as to why they lied at the start of the relationship. For example, they may say that they chose to lie to avoid hurting your feelings, or they were afraid that telling the truth would have driven you away.
It’s All About the Intentions
People often believe that their intentions justify the lie. That lying to protect someone else’s feelings is kinder than hurting them. “The truth is, this type of lying is really about controlling the perception of someone and not wanting to get caught.
At the end of the day, the lie wasn’t about other people’s feelings; it was about their intention to manipulate and control,” said Linda.
What if you find yourself in a position where you felt like you needed to lie? “Instead of lying, tell the truth about why you want to lie: “I’m really afraid you will be upset with me, but here is what happened…” said Linda. The band aid is better ripped out early rather than later.