Can asking the right questions during a date fuel and accelerate intimacy? According to a 1997 study created by psychologist, Dr. Arthur Aron, it certainly can. Numerous articles have already been written since his famous ’36 questions that lead to love’ study was developed but did Dr. Aron come up with the recipe for love? Interestingly, he tried it out on two strangers and found that the questions not only created instant chemistry between the two, but the couple also ended up marrying six months later! His study even went viral in 2015 when The New York Times published an article with the headline: To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This which detailed the writer’s surprising successful experience while trying out Aron’s 36 questions.
Mere flukes or has Dr. Aron really unlocked the ultimate romance short-cut? Who’s to say for certain but it’s worth a shot. Best case scenario, you’ll walk away with a soul mate. And even if nothing else comes out of it, (judging from the questions) this date will be anything but boring. So, in our books, you’ll win either way.
The next time you go on a date, why not test Dr. Aron’s study out by using his list of questions below. The questions (which were previously highlighted and published in Reader’s Digest, The New York Times, and ABC just to name a few) are meant to be asked in numerical order as they get more intense and personal as you thread along. It should take about 45 minutes to go through all three sets and who knows, you just might walk away with either a new friendship, romantic relationship, or even marriage by the end of it.
SET I (Approx. 15 mins)
1. If you could have any dinner guest in the world, who would it be?
2. Would you like to be famous and in what way would you like to be famous?
3. Before making a phone call, do you ever practice what you are going to say? Why?
4. Describe a “perfect” day for you.
5. Have you sung to someone and when was the last time you sang to yourself?
6. If you could live to the ripe-old age of 90 and retain either the physical or mental capacities of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you pick?
7. Do you have a secret inkling about how your life would end?
8. What are three things you and your partner have in common?
9. Name one thing you are most grateful for in your life.
10. If you could change anything about the way you were brought up, what would it be?
11. As detailed as possible, tell your partner your life story in 4 minutes.
12. What’s one quality or ability you would acquire if you could wake up tomorrow morning with one?
SET II (Approx. 15 mins)
13. Should you possess a crystal ball that could tell you the truth about your future or anything else in your life, what would you like to know?
14. What have you dreamt of doing for a long time and why haven’t you done it?
15. What has been your greatest accomplishment?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. Describe your most treasured memory?
18. Share your most terrible memory.
19. If you knew that your life would end suddenly in a year, is there anything you would change about the way you are living now? Why?
20. Define friendship and what it means to you.
21. Do love and affection play in role your life? In what way?
22. Take turns to share five positive characteristics of your partner which you’ve noticed.
23. How close-knit and warm is your family? Do you reckon your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. Tell me about your relationship with your mother. How do you feel about it?
SET III (Approx. 15 mins)
25. Make three “we” statements each that are true. For example, “We are both in this room feeling … “
26. Finish this sentence: “I wish there was someone with whom I could share … “
27. What would be important for your partner to know if you were going to become a close friend with him or her?
28. What do you like about your partner? Be as truthful as possible this time and say things that you might not say to someone you’ve only just met.
29. Name an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last shed a tear (in front of another person and by yourself)?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them after getting to know them.
32. Is there anything too serious to joke about?
33. If you died tonight with no chance to talk with anyone, what would you most regret not having said to someone? Why haven’t you said it to them yet?
34. Your house along with everything you own, is on fire. After rescuing your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final sprint to save one more thing. What is it and why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you be most disturbed or distressed about? Why?
36. Share a personal issue and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might deal with the situation. Also, ask your partner to think about and tell you how you might be feeling about the problem you have chosen.