What is a deal breaker and what does it mean? It is a trait or characteristic in a partner that far outweighs good attributes they have. These red flags can often be seen early in a relationship, in some cases they may not be clear until later in the relationship. Men can give a date the flick for many reasons, some are strange, whether we agree or not here are 10 dating deal breakers from a male perspective:
Presentation is Key
This can be a major turn off right from the get go. It’s not necessarily about how pretty you are. It’s all about the effort. Maybe a nice dress or a spritz of fragrance to show us that it’s a date, and you cared enough to put in the the effort to look good for a special occasion. We do appreciate that it may be involve more preparation for women to get ready, the hair, makeup, outfit… but we really appreciate it. Seeing our date make the effort makes us feel valued as a date too.
You are meant to be the centre of his attention (Turn off your phone)
Yes, we live in a tech crazy world where people can’t leave their hand held device down for two minutes without checking it. As writer Raven Ishak states those on their phone too much “are not present and not paying attention to the person they are with. It is disrespectful.” This can show your date that you seem disinterested in them or have better places you would rather be. How will you know? On a date, we probably won’t say it directly, but if a joke or comment is made about the phone then you know it bothers us! Of course we don’t expect you to not use your phone for a whole three course meal, just be considerate that’s all.
Don’t pretend to be somebody you are not. Be yourself from the get go & the relationship will be better off in the long run. Imagine if you do tell a partner a lie which you think is no big deal. Then when things get more serious you have to tell him you lied to him from the get go? Think he is going to trust you then? I had a friend who lied to his partner by trying to play the front she was wealthy. The reality was she was racking up credit card debt to finance her lifestyle. He later found out via opened mail which was left in the kitchen. Safe to say he was not impressed and the relationship didn’t last – not because she had debt but simply because she had lied from the beginning.
Men like high value (but not high maintenance)
Guys really don’t like girls that have “too much drama”. I have a life long friend who dated his high school sweetheart for over ten years. She was also my friend. They were great together but every time there was alcohol involved or a night out – there would always be drama, an argument or disagreement of some sort. I am not going to say he was never at fault, far from it, but for the most part she was the one who would cause issues. In my opinion it was all about her insecurity. It didn’t change and decades later it’s not surprising to say they did not end up together!
Good manners are free
A good indicator from a male perspective is how a female treats staff on a night out whether it be wait staff in a restaurant or café. This is also even before we talk about how they treat us in general. If we get the vibes that they don’t want to be there or are rude in general you are probably on the right track to say “see ya later, thanks but no thanks”. Treat people as you want to be treated.
Smoking – it’s a turn-off
We now know smoking is an unhealthy habit. It is also something that is less prevalent nowadays. According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, research shows that in 2019 on a daily basis 11.6% of adults smoked in Australia. While there are men who don’t have a problem with smokers, many actually prefer non-smokers. Especially when the men themselves do not smoke and are serious about starting a family. So it’s not a bad idea to kick the habit. It’ll improve your health and save you money in the long run too.
Late responding to text messages
In these tech times we know many and most people are not “socially distant” or ever much further than 1.5 metres from their smartphone. The whole keep him waiting or don’t come across too keen angles are for high school kids. Also, yes we know you can be busy but responding to a text message can take no more than thirty seconds. Quit playing hard to get and respond to him before he moves on to someone else. Or if you are genuinely busy, it’s okay to say, you’re in the middle of something and will reply later. We can totally understand that.
Always have a positive upbeat spin on things
Research has shown men found women less attractive where their personalities seemed negative . From a male perspective this is a very unattractive trait. Guys prefer a girl that is positive, upbeat and has nice things to say in general. What also comes to mind is whinging or moaning that everything that happens is never their fault & the world is always against them.
Have an opinion – men like mentally stimulating women
We don’t expect you to have expert opinions on world climate or the geopolitical situation in North Korea. We do, though, like it when you have a general opinion on something. It’s very attractive when a female is able to express their opinion on current affairs or hot topics in the world. Intelligence and confidence is really sexy.
Light hearted banter is key to easy connections
Dating or relationships should be a two way street. Having a sense of humour is key to a connection. While you don’t have to force the issue and pretend to be hilarious, it’s nice to know a girl can smile or laugh and share a joke or two. Besides, how fun can a date or a relationship be if there are no jokes or funny moments?
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