When it comes to dating, the well-worn phrase “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” rings true. What is abundantly clear is that women and men are programmed very differently and this is particularly obvious when they date – read on to see the difference between men and women.
1. Women tell everyone
Whether the date has gone well or not, women can’t wait to tell their friends about it. Friends, family and colleagues will go through the date from start to finish: from the pre-date anxiety and what to wear, to the post-date debrief. Women are usually happy to reveal more personal information than men and will likely go into every single detail, from his shoes to the number of drinks they had to whether they kissed.
If the date has gone well, women want to show off and, if the date didn’t live up to expectations, they seek validation from their friends that he was the problem, not them. Men, on the other hand, do not like to share as many date details, they don’t want to be made fun of for being too keen by their friends.
2. Women want men to take the lead
Although equality is important in every relationship, women secretly hark after traditional values and want a man to show his assertiveness. When speaking before the date, men should try to ascertain what sort of woman he will be dating – does she prefer bars, pubs or something off-the-wall?
3. Women over-analyse
Women read into everything. They over-analyse the smallest remark and comment made by their date to work out how they feel about them, or if they’re actually interested. Women will break down everything from the amount of time it takes for the guy to reply to their message, to how he said goodbye on the date.
Men don’t think in this way and won’t be agonising over what messages to send and when. Women need to remember that a man’s text is not a good indicator of how he is feeling and men need consider women’s penchant for over-analysis when contacting them. Although it might seem outdated in the modern world, to stop any confusion, men should pick up the phone and have a conversation instead – women will appreciate the extra effort and men get to avoid texting back and forth.
4. Women stress about the small stuff
Women’s analysis doesn’t stop with texting, they will even go as far to consider the food and drink choices they make on a date. Women will worry about whether a drinks date actually means drinks, or will it progress to food? What drink to order? What food to eat? How the bill should be split? To help women out, men should take some of the stress out of the situation by choosing the wine, instigating whether to have food early on and offering to pay the bill (at least on the first date).
5. Women want a second date booked in asap
Women will expect men to suggest a second date straight after the first date if the evening has gone well. If this hasn’t been arranged or suggested within a few days, women will worry that the guy didn’t actually like them and will get disheartened. From a man’s point of view, they do not see the urgency in arranging a second date – they prefer to wait and play it cool so they don’t come across too keen.
6. Women are more honest
Men typically hold their cards much closer to their chest and never outwardly offend their date, whereas women are more likely to be honest.
7. Men like convenience
Men are renowned for being lazy in certain elements of their lives, one of them being the way they date. Convenience is key for men – they might make the effort to begin with but once a routine is established, they’ll want a partner near to them who is only a short journey away. Therefore, in some instances, geography can play a part on how the relationship progresses. I encourage women not to worry that something is wrong with them, it might just be the 45-minute Uber rides that are the problem.
8. Men like women to make the first move
Although men like to show they are in charge, they admit that being approached by a woman can be a big turn on. If a woman asks a man out for a drink or for his number, this suggests that she is head-strong and self-assured. These are desirable qualities a man looks for in his life partner. Mixing things up can be exciting and more often than not a man will respect a woman who has the confidence to make the first move.
9. Men don’t like over eagerness
Despite men wanting a headstrong woman, there is a difference between confidence and eagerness. If a man wants something, he will go out and get it, so constantly barraging them over message, introducing them to friends too early on and discussing marriage and children might make them run a mile. Women do actually share a similar thought process on keenness. If a man is confessing his undying love by date two, he no longer comes across as manly and is much less desirable. A lesson for both sexes: play it slightly cool to maintain attention.
10. Men need the message loud and clear
Men do not overa-nalyse dates, body language or text talk. This can leave dates feeling very confused as to whether a woman actually likes them – no matter how much flirting and hair twirling goes on. To have the confidence to ask women out on a second date, men need things spelling out to them. A simple message which lets the man know the woman has had a nice time does wonders for a man’s ego.
11. Men love the chase
Men attach value to something they perceive as unattainable. Whether that’s a step up the career ladder, a new watch or a woman they can’t have. If a woman is unattainable, there is a certain challenge associated with finally winning her over, which taps into a man’s primal instincts. Men are goal focused and so perceive wooing a woman as accomplishing a goal. If a woman comes across slightly indifferent in her messages, claiming she’s busy every time she’s asked out, this is a sure-fire way for a man to get interested. Once the goal has been achieved, it’s the responsibility of both the man and women to keep the spark alive.
12. Men keep their options open
Men are more prone to keeping their options open, potentially dating more than one person at once (in the early stages) and keeping an eye out for future options. This actually disguises an underlying vulnerability in the male sex; although keeping a couple of women as potential options might come across as disrespectful and “player-like”, men fear their pride will be wounded if they invest all their energy into one woman who might call things off.