Age is but a number. Yes, absolutely. And when it comes to love, who’s judging, right? For those who have experienced dating in their 20s and 30s, you would know…there is a difference. Not all bad. In fact, there are some advantages but also there are different challenges. So if you’re approaching the 30s dating zone and wondering what it is like dating in your 30s, you’re in the right place. Linda Prescott is a Professional Matchmaker and she has been in the love business for over 29 years. With close to 1, 300 marriages to her credit, Linda has seen it all. So if there is any dating advice you should pay attention to, it’s definitely Linda’s. So, what is it like dating in your 30s?
The candidate pool
Let’s face it. A lot of connections happen in school and during college. The parties, gatherings, and constantly being introduced to new people, this is where some people meet their partners. “Stephanie J. says, ” Oh, I remember meeting new people every single day as a young adult. After class, at friends’ houses, parties… it was endless. My friends were always introducing me to their friends and when you’re 21, you barely know anyone who’s already married.” At this stage in life, there are more single people and that means more people to meet and explore relationships with. However, as you move to the working world, the pool of single people starts to shrink slightly. In your 30s, meeting someone at work is very common, but remember, people at work will not all be in your age group and even if they were, they could already be either married or dating someone. So you can’t put all your eggs into one basket. At this stage, people in their 30s might meet people at the gym, while on holiday or at work events. These encounters will be with perfect strangers because your friends will know fewer singles to connect you with by this time.
Tip: At Ideal, our Matchmakers always know who you are meeting and where, so you are safe. But if you are doing this on your own, make sure that when meeting complete strangers, always tell at least one person who you are seeing and where you are going.
Dating in your 20s while exciting can be very unpredictable. The lack of maturity and also low motivation to settle down means that there are more breakups. In your 20s, there are more single people available and sometimes too many choices can distract people from focusing on one partner. Breakups at this stage happen for so many reasons…infidelity, commitment phobia, indecisiveness and also incompatibility. But here’s the positive news. In your 3os, all the failed relationships and experience dating different people in your 20s will serve you well. In this dating phase, you will realise that you know what you want and you have a clearer vision of what your partner should be like. Although you might have less dates, but the quality of dates are likely to be better due to your wisdom.
Tip: They key to dating success in your 30s is to focus less on how your dates look but more on how they make you feel. Use your experience to be a better judge of character but avoid approaching dating with a closed mind. If you are too hung up on finding someone who fits your predetermined “type” , you might miss out on your ideal partner. Linda says, “We have so many clients who come in with a checklist and later realise that their ideal partner is different from what they had in mind. Some clients say they wouldn’t date some personality types but then get pleasantly surprised when the match is successful. You may start with an idea but you have to keep an open mind.”
Dating is different at every stage. Although you may have wanted to marry that 9-year-old school mate of yours back when you were a kid, you didn’t really know what it meant. In your 20s, the objective of dating can vary from one person to another. While you might already be on the search for The One, the next person you date might just be in for fun. Some people date so they can form lasting relationships but some date because they just enjoy the dating part and are not really looking to take it to the next level. Linda says, “When in your 30s you need to differentiate between the serial dates and the serious one. At Ideal, all our members who sign up are in it for the same reason — to find their ideal partner. But out there, you need to keep your eyes open so you are not wasting your time with someone who is not serious as you are.”
Tip: If you know what you want, go for it. Don’t wait to call someone or to tell them you are interested. In your 30s, you don’t have to play those mind games. If it’s a real relationship you are after, then you need to make your intentions known at the right time. With your maturity and confidence, don’t feel disheartened if things don’t work out. The process may take longer than you’d like but no matter what, do not adopt the “marriage or bust” mindset. Continue to date until you find someone who is compatible with you.
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