When David G’s marriage broke down five years ago, he thought it would be the last time he would want to say “I do”. Finding love after divorce was not on his list of things to do. David and Annaliese were married for 12 years and throughout that time, they were blessed with three beautiful children. “It was perfect,” said David. “Who would’ve known that after a decade we would see each other across the table but with our lawyers by our sides?” said David recalling the day they signed the papers to officially split.
“I wouldn’t blame Anna,” admit David who said that there was no third party involved but that the relationship had slowly washed away. “I suppose we both fell out of love. We had a passionate ten years and after that things just fizzled. Before we knew it, things were over,” he said.
Ready for Love After Divorce
Now, five years after David saw his marriage turn to ashes, he suddenly finds himself in a position he never saw coming — he was ready to love again. “Honestly, I am terrified,” admit David. “What if no one is interested in me? What if I make the same mistake of choosing someone who is incompatible with me?”
David is not alone. There are plenty of men and women who are afraid to love again and feel that love after divorce is impossible.
Louise Whitehead-Payne, High50‘s dating columnist said, “The idea that you might come out of a long marriage without emotional baggage is delusional. You simply have to accept and empathize with whatever coping strategy results. Primal fear of being hurt is a powerful drive. But so is the need to love and be loved.”
Second Chances
But is there a second chance? Can one truly be happy the second time around?
Pamela Cytrynbaum who writes for Psychology Today spoke to an old man who said that the happiest couples he knows, like, actually happy together, are those in second marriages who really took the time to choose carefully the second time around; who used their first marriage as a wake-up call, a teaching moment (or decade or two).
Love rules. Even the second time around.
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