To prepare you for your next date, Linda Prescott shares practical tips on How to be Flirty Without Trying Too Hard. Enjoy!
How to be Flirty Without Trying Too Hard
Though the impact of rejection can be uncomfortable regardless of our age, the delivery of the flirts and the tactics we use to make that connection can be different from when we were younger. Flirting as an adult shouldn’t be stressful and most importantly it shouldn’t be obvious. A little nervousness is completely normal, it’s because you care. But if you’re worrying too much, you’re likely approaching the art of flirtation the wrong way. Here are some tips that may be useful:
1. Add Warmth
Connecting on a deep level is the new flirting and that a great way to ignite that warmth is to boost your mood by flirting with your eyes. Similar to Tyra Bank’s “smize” (smiling with your eyes), here’s how to flirt with your eyes: Simply hold eye contact with someone for about three seconds before giving a brief smile or smirk. Adjust the latter depending on the receiver. Next, when conversing, forget about putting on a show or being inauthentic. Try vibing or matching each other’s energy levels and positivity by being curious about your differences and connecting on your similarities.
2. Be present and attentive
When someone is telling you about their life, be genuinely interested and remember small facts that they share. Lean in, listen and absorb the stories, absorb them. Bringing up the bits and pieces they’ve said to you later on in conversation demonstrates that you not only have a good memory, but you’ve also been giving them your full attention. And giving someone your full attention means you value them, you like them.
3. Initiate Contact
An age-old tactic to show interest subtly is by initiating a light, no-pressure physical contact. The trick here is knowing what is deemed appropriate as the last thing you want is for it to come off overtly sexual or for the touch to make your potential love interest uncomfortable. Remember it has to be consensual, reciprocated, and not cross any boundaries. Cue #metoo. Generally, a light physical touch on the hand, or upper arm is acceptable once you feel a connection with the person and there’s a great rapport between the two of you. A light brush of the hand is one way to show emotion and to gently let the other party know that you’re keen on them.
4. Give Compliments
Saying something nice to a person not only lifts moods, but it also shows that you noticed something you like about them. Steer clear from vague, generic, or superficial things to help build a better connection. Psychologists at Southern Methodist University found that women formed negative associations with male partners who valued their bodies and not their non-physical qualities. The same holds true regardless of dating preferences. Instead of complimenting their physical appearance, try positive valuations on non-physical qualities like sense of humour, wit, personality, or the way they see the world. In other words, avoid cookie-cutter compliments and look for unique non-physical features that you find attractive about your potential love interest which you can dish out. Also, keep this to a minimum of one or two compliments as you don’t want to lay it on too thick which could potentially turn a corner and make things awkward especially if the receiver hasn’t been exposed to receiving such praises.
5. Know What You Want
Mature singles have a powerful advantage when it comes to flirting because they have life experiences that lead to knowing what they want in life (and in a partner). The flirting process is more direct and straightforward because there is no room for mind games. How do we strike this fine balance? If you’ve found yourself back on the dating circuit and a little rusty in your flirting aptitude, start by knowing what you want. Once you are certain about the characteristics you are looking for, make it known in a general way. If your date thinks that sounds like them, and they like you as much as you like them, they’ll confess. Putting your cards on the table may sound very risky but making general statements (not directed at anyone specifically) can always help get the message across.
What’s On, Brisbane?
© Photography by Jake Davis (instagram.com/jakephilipdavis)
The site-specific experience of last year’s Festival is back and reimagined for 2024.
This globally renowned, multisensory phenomenon of light, colour and sound showcases Brisbane’s City Botanic Gardens in a new light, with breathtaking installations created by acclaimed local and international artists.
This one-of-a-kind experience will immerse audience in an inspiring, after-dark journey along a 1.8km trail through the iconic City Botanic gardens.
Where: Brisbane Botanical Gardens
When: 29 Aug – 12 Oct, 2024
