Preparing for a first date is more than just picking out a nice outfit or a great date spot.It also requires some mental preparation because ultimately, what you want is to make a genuine connection. To help you prepare for your date, Brisbane’s Leading Matchmaker and Relationship Expert of over 26 years, Linda Prescott reveals just how you can Make a Great Connection on the First Date.
Prepare for a real conversation
Guys, studies show that if you’re going on a date, you should forget the cheesy pick-up lines and go for an interesting conversation starter instead. This is because women tend to rate empty compliments and bad jokes poorly. They are more attracted to dates who spark conversation topics that show they are curious, intelligent and cultured. Instead of just small talk, Northwestern University Psychology Professor Dan McAdams suggests asking questions to understand your date on a deeper level.
Try this: “What would constitute a perfect day for you?” or “If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?”
Let your date know you’re enjoying yourself.
According to bestselling authors Rom and Ori Brafman who wrote Click: The Magic of Instant Connections, letting your date know you’re enjoying yourself helps set the tone. It will also clue them in to the fact that you’re engaged, so they don’t have to feel preoccupied with that question — which allows them to focus more on being themselves.
Tip: Try saying something like, “I’m really enjoying our conversation” or “I’m really glad we’re here.”
Get in the zone
We always tell our clients that they have to be in a happy place before they should start dating again. This is because one of the most important things to do before a date and especially before you leave your house to go on a date, is getting your mind right. While you can’t control chemistry, compatibility, or attraction, you can make sure you’re mentally ready if there is a spark. If we enter into a date with self-doubt, feeling unworthy or defeated, unfortunately those feelings will carry throughout the night. And that could ruin the connection no matter how much someone likes us.
Try this: The night before your date, pamper yourself and try to relax. On the day, while getting ready, play some uplifting songs to get your spirits up.
And no, you don’t have to have travelled the globe or swam with dolphins to be interesting. The key to being interesting is to actually be interested. How to do that? Ask your date questions about them and continuing the dialogue when there’s an opening. It’s not just important to be interested in your date, you also should show interest in the topics that come up. Curiosity is exciting! Someone who’s curious shows their innate intelligence and zest for life.
Tip: If your date brings up something you know nothing about, rather than thinking you have nothing in common, ask for more information. You might be able to give your opinion about it or add your own experience to the topic.