“I’ve been dating Rob for three years now but I’m still not sure if we’re a good fit. We have a lot of fun and when we’re together we set the house on fire. But when it comes to discussing issues, we’re rarely on the same page. It’s like we don’t get each other. I also find it hard to confide in him because he thinks it stresses him out. How do I know if Rob and I are compatible?” Melanie’s story isn’t unique. Sometimes people can find themselves in a relationship with someone who is not compatible with them. And the relationship has been going on for a long time, they will find it hard to walk away even when compatibility is not there. So how to tell if your partner is compatible with you?
Don’t opposites always attract? Well, yes and no. In a way, our partner needs to be different than us but at the same time share certain aspects such as intellectual levels and core values. We also need to be accepting of each others’ quirks and be able to show our true selves. What are the signs that you and your partner are compatible?
You complement each other intellectually
Okay, this doesn’t mean your IQ has to match. It’s not about that. It’s about being able to share and talk about ideas or issues in a mutually enlightening way, together. You don’t need to know the same things or be good at the same things, just be able to have a exchange of thoughts and ideas. This way the relationship will be more balanced and a genuine partnership can be nurtured.
You’re attracted to each other
If you have sexual attraction, that’s great. But remember, while sexual attraction tends so spark things off, it doesn’t necessarily glue a relationship together. Ideal Introductions Professional Matchmaker and Relationship Expert Linda Prescott says, “What might start as a fiery connection can actually fizzle out if there is no genuine attraction towards the actual person you’re dating. Not just the physical part but the psychological attraction — the way they smile, their mannerism.” If you enjoy each other’s company and look forward to it even without the sex, you’re genuinely attracted to each other.
Your partner is the first person you want to share good and bad news with
According to Clinical Psychologist Ryan Howes, couples that are compatible feel safe enough to splash in the puddles with one another. You won’t be walking on eggshells. In fact, you’ll be the complete opposite. Whether it’s a promotion or something you’ve stuffed up, you will have no problems sharing it with your partner. Because your ideal partner will be your biggest cheerleader and also your biggest backup support. And if you can’t share your highs and lows with your partner, how compatible are you really?
You share the same core values
Core values are your fundamental beliefs. They are the guiding principles that dictate your behavior and can help you understand the difference between right and wrong. But what do core values have to do with compatibility? Well, everything. According to clinical psychologist Megan Fleming, “Core values are the foundation of a strong relationship. When the going gets tough, like it does in all relationships, knowing that you share the same core values makes difficult decisions easier because you both have the same inner compass.” If your core values are aligned, your relationship will have a strong foundation.