Preparing for a first date is more than just picking out a nice outfit or a great date spot. It also requires some mental preparation because, ultimately, what you want is to make a genuine connection. To help you prepare for your date, check out our tips on How to Make a Great Connection on the First Date. And for those who are looking at ways to strengthen their relationship or even continuously improve themselves, do read the article: Personal Habits That Can Spoil Any Wonderful Relationship.

How to Make a Great Connection on the First Date

Prepare for a real conversation

Guys, studies show that if you’re going on a date you should forget the cheesy pick-up lines and go for an interesting conversation starter instead. This is because women tend to rate empty compliments and bad jokes poorly. They are more attracted to dates who spark conversation topics that show they are curious, intelligent and cultured. Instead of just small talk, Northwestern University Psychology Professor Dan McAdams suggests asking questions to understand your date on a deeper level.
Try this: “What would constitute a perfect day for you?” or “If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?”

 

Let your date know you’re enjoying yourself.

According to bestselling authors Rom and Ori Brafman who wrote Click: The Magic of Instant Connections, letting your date know you’re enjoying yourself helps set the tone. It will also clue them in to the fact that you’re engaged, so they don’t have to feel preoccupied with that question — which allows them to focus more on being themselves.
Tip: Try saying something like, “I’m really enjoying our conversation” or “I’m really glad we’re here.”

 

Get in the zone
We always tell our clients that they have to be in a happy place before they should start dating again. This is because one of the most important things to do before a date and especially before you leave your house to go on a date, is getting your mind right. While you can’t control chemistry, compatibility, or attraction, you can make sure you’re mentally ready if there is a spark. If we enter into a date with self-doubt, feeling unworthy or defeated, unfortunately those feelings will carry throughout the night. And that could ruin the connection no matter how much someone likes us.
Try this: The night before your date, pamper yourself and try to relax. On the day, while getting ready, play some uplifting songs to get your spirits up.

Be interesting

You don’t have to have travelled the globe or swam with dolphins to be interesting; the key to being interesting is to actually be interested. How do you do that? Ask your date questions about them and continuing the dialogue when there’s an opening. It’s not just important to be interested in your date,  you also should show interest in the topics that come up. Curiosity is exciting! Someone who’s curious shows their innate intelligence and zest for life.
Tip: If your date brings up something you know nothing about, rather than thinking you have nothing in common, ask for more information. You might be able to give your opinion about it or add your own experience to the topic.

Personal Habits that can Spoil any Wonderful Relationship

Letting jealousy take over your life

While it’s good to show some jealousy and that you do care about your partner, letting that jealousy take over is a completely different thing. Being too overly jealous also shows that you are insecure about yourself and the relationship. Instead of sounding like you are questioning every move, just show some interest. Don’t interrogate.

Making public jokes at your partner’s expense
Some people turn to jokes as a defence mechanism or when they don’t know what else to say in a group conversation. But the thing about jokes is that not everyone can appreciate it, especially if the subject is the joke is your partner. Sure, everyone should have a little sense of humour but remember, jokes about someone’s appearance, culture, religion, background, medical situation and socio-economic position is never funny.

Keeping score, even in your head
When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, chances are you’ve both done some things that have upset each other. But it’s so important to talk about that stuff in the moment and then let it go — otherwise, it’s going to make you both miserable. Marriage therapist David Klow says, “Counting the rights and wrongs that each person does can cause pettiness and resentment.”

Being passive-aggressive
Experts call this the relationship killer. It also shows that you might have some challenges with self-esteem and communicating positively. Basically, it doesn’t make you look good. When you find yourself slipping into passive aggression, pause and think about what you really want say and say it. Talking it out is much better than hinting at something that your partner might not even realise.

Criticising their family
This is a big no-no. No matter how bad the argument is, never criticise your partner’s family. How would you feel if they did the same? However, this does not mean you cannot provide any input. “If they bring it up, then you can reinforce their opinions if you agree, but don’t fall into a trap that could come back to bite you,” says clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula.