“We had a great time. Our conversation was flowing and I could see that we were attracted to each other. But we never progressed onto that second date,” said Joanna H. “I really don’t know what went wrong. Was it something I said or did?” she wondered. Joanna’s experience is not unique. Plenty of people who’ve had amazing first dates end up feeling disappointed that they never got to the second date. And often, they are left wondering if their words or behaviour had something to do with it. Leading relationship expert and Ideal Introductions Matchmaker Linda Prescott said, “There are many reasons why second dates don’t happen. The most common reason is that there was no chemistry or connection. Now this is really important because without chemistry and a little bit of physical attraction, you’ll have little reason to want to see the other person again.”
Another reason that second dates don’t happen is that you probably didn’t show enough interest. The most obvious way to tell someone you’re not interested is by overly checking or looking at your phone. Linda says, “I always tell our clients at Ideal to put their phone away and focus on their date. Show that they are interested and make the effort to get to know them. That’s why you’re on a date.”
But what’s the most popular reason that second dates don’t happen?
“You can come dressed to the nines, be the most attractive person in the room but if you do this, you won’t get that second date — talk about your ex!” Linda reveals. “No one is going to want to waste their time listening to you talk about your ex. The past belongs in the past and if you’re still talking about your ex, clearly you have not moved on. Don’t do it. It is the top reason perfectly good first dates don’t go anywhere after that,” Linda advises. Linda also adds that Ideal clients are provided with a dating guide to help them with dos and don’ts as well as a list of topics they can consider while on a date.
“I recognise that dating is not easy for everyone. It’s our job to help our clients date better and date healthier,” says Linda, “But when they are out there meeting their date, they will have to remember to keep things positive, fun and relax. The story about your ex does not belong in any date conversation.”
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