Many of us carry around with us an attitude that may hold us back from meeting someone new. Sometimes, having these thoughts can really hold us back from discovering positive things about a new person. Do any of these sound familiar to you?
Meet Someone Myth #1: “There are no decent ways/places to meet people anymore.”
By saying there are no good ways to meet people, singles can protect themselves from all of the desires and fears that accompany any attempts at a relationship. When it comes down to it, where you meet people isn’t really the issue. Actually getting out and meeting new people, is. It doesn’t matter what methods you use, it only matters that you do something –- anything –- to bring more potential partners into your life. Read how Rob’s decision to take a different path lead him to meeting Caty, after 10 years of looking for Love.
What you should do: Keep an open mind. Whether it is a blind date through a friend or an introduction via a professional matchmaker, remember that you are at least taking action. Tony Robbins said, “A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.”
Meet Someone Myth #2: “All the good ones are taken.”
Whether or not you find your ideal partner has nothing to do with statistics and everything to do with how much you want a serious relationship, and how much time and energy you are willing to invest in finding one. According to clinical psychologist Seth Meyers, Psy.D., “The more patient and the less anxious you are, the more likely you will be to be yourself, feel happy, and find a yummy match.”
What you should do: Focus on compatibility. Compatibility is subjective and there might more “good ones” out there than you thought. Pay attention to the conversations you have and the feeling you get when you make a connection. In conversation, try avoiding The Basics (“Where were you born?”) in favor of more thoughtfully picked questions which get to the essence of who your date really is.
Meet Someone Myth #3: “I don’t want to look desperate.
In order to attract love, you’ll need to make it known that you have a relationship goal, and that your intentions are to turn it into reality. This philosophy is called the Law of Attraction, where what you believe is what you achieve. Therefore, if you yearn for a positive relationship, then you’ll attract it into your life.
What you should do: Stay positive to attract positive people and remember, the act is finding an ideal partner is not desperate. It’s natural.
Meet Someone Myth #4: “I never meet anyone __fill in the blank__.”
There is nothing wrong with having realistic relationship expectations, and in some circumstances they are incredibly important. For instance, you may be a recovering alcoholic, so heavy drinkers are out of the question. But for the most part, requiring a checklist of desired traits is a way of controlling outcomes, not a way to finding love. Do stay away from potentially dangerous people but keep an open mind if your date is slightly not your type. You might be surprised that what you need is not what you’ve been looking for all along.
What you should do: In order to meet new people, you’ll need to change your attitudes about all of the potential partners that surround you. According to Mike Iamele, author of the provocative book Enough Already: Create Success on Your Own Terms the end of the day, “Business or love might not come in the form that we expected. But that doesn’t mean that it’s a bad fit. If you’re putting yourself out there authentically, watch who starts coming into your life. Sometimes who we are attracting can teach us a lot about ourselves that we didn’t know. And it might be a better fit than we expected.”