Mistakes People Make On Dates Without Realising. We all have blind-spots in our personalities and the annoying thing is, people are too polite to tell us what they are. Our friends might tell us things like “be yourself” and “you’re fine as you are”, but what they won’t tell us is those annoying little habits that we need to iron out.
We want to present a ‘top 5’ mistakes people make on dates without realising. Check out how you stand-up to the list below and scrub yourself clean of any of these dirty habits:
1. Fishing for compliments
We all do it, but that doesn’t make it ok. If ever you feel tempted to purposely put yourself down in the hopes someone will bring you back up again, slap yourself in the face and change the conversation. In Australia we make an art form out of false-modesty and self-deprecation, and that’s fine, but never do it in the hope that your friend will come back and tell you how great/clever/beautiful/fun you really are. You don’t need that validation.
If you find yourself tempted…Compliment the person next to you instead.
2. Asking generic questions
Generic questions are those bog-standard, boring, getting-to-know-you type questions that make you want to tear your hair out.
Do you really care what street/part of town he/she lives in? Is it really important that you know what they is up to this weekend? Do you really care how long they been at their current job?
We can do better than this. Focus on questions that get to who they is, rather than what they do. Why are they passionate about their career? What would they do if money wasn’t an issue? Would they rather travel for a year, or spend a year writing a novel? – We have so many options for inspiring conversation and never use them.
If you find yourself tempted…Limit yourself to only allowing one or two generic questions per conversation. Train yourself to do without them. You’ll be amazed by your own creativity.
3. Talking about yourself too much
Everyone’s favourite topic is themselves, but it can be damn boring for everyone else. Only talk about yourself if what you’re saying is relevant to the situation, but resist the temptation to steal other people’s thunder by cutting them off mid-sentence and saying: “Oh that reminds me of this thing that happened to me last week…”. If you find yourself tempted…Ask them a follow-up question to their own story.
4. Being negative
Moaning about your week, putting down other people, or even just commenting on what a lame party this is…all of these things bring the mood down. Your instinct should always be to make people feel they have had a better night for being in your company.
Stay high energy. See the good things about people. Ask them about what they are excited about and their passions. Be classy and don’t put other people down.
If you find yourself tempted…Tell people the things they do well instead of the things they do badly. After all, if you can’t say anything nice…
5. Turn that phone off
Is that call from your friend important enough to break focus? (no-one’s call is important to anyone else in the room). Neither are texts, tweets or Facebook updates.
People who use their phone in social situations are covering for a lack of conversational skills. It’s an easy tool for escape, don’t be the person who resorts to it.