If we all had the ability to read people’s character and personality accurately, we would be able to find friends that really click and also avoid a lot of potential drama. If you want to learn more about people, Linda Prescott reveals secrets in 4 Little Things that Tell You a Lot About Someone.
How they keep their commitments
Okay, we’re not expecting everyone to be super punctual 100% of the time, especially when some things are out of their control. Things like emergencies, work, family and well, life! It’s important to be understanding in these situations. However, if someone is rarely keeping their commitments, it reveals a lot about themselves. If they are always late, always cancelling on you, always rescheduling, it’s not a healthy pattern. This shows that this person is someone who isn’t reliable, doesn’t hold themselves accountable for the things they say, or worse, doesn’t value you all that much.
Real-life story: “I used to be good friends with Samantha. We had a lot of fun together. She is well known for her tardiness but it didn’t bother me even though I was always made to wait for her to arrive. The last straw was when she was late for my sit-down birthday dinner party. She walked in the moment we took our first bite”.
When we allow such behaviour we are being an enabler.
How they act when they make a mistake
Look, we’re all human, right? Who doesn’t make mistakes? What sets people apart is how they react after having made the mistake. Do they apologise and commit to never repeating their mistake? Or are they serial apologisers whose sorry doesn’t mean anything because they’ll stick to their bad habits? Do they get defensive and start pointing fingers at you or do they own up to their mistakes?
The best way to learn about someone is to observe them, not when everything is nice and fun, but how they behave and respond during a conflict or disagreement. How they respond in those moments can tell you a lot about their character and ego. That’s when you decide to stay or run for the hills.
Real-life story: “I used to work with this person a few years ago. Every time we respectfully told him how late his report was, he blamed others for his inefficiency, and every single report or document would be submitted late. We don’t think he was even bothered with the deadlines to begin with”.
How they act when you make a mistake
Let’s see what happens when the tables are turned. If you apologise for having made an honest mistake, how do they respond? Do they belittle you? Do they insult your intelligence? Or do they respect you while still being able to share how they feel? How they react to you making a mistake and apologising reveals a lot about themselves. If they criticise you or make nasty comments even in a joking manner, they are probably not the right company to keep around.
Real-life story: “An old friend of mine used to create so much stress in my life. Whenever I failed to return her call immediately due to work commitments, she would make comments like, ‘Oh, you’re always not picking up. You never reply to me quick enough.’ What’s ironic is, she takes hours to reply herself! The stress just made me reconsider the friendship and prioritise my sanity”.
How they talk about their friends
You know what they say if someone can gossip about someone with you, they can gossip about you with others. Friendships have been ruined for this very reason — the inability to stop talking about other people. If you know someone who has been talking ill about mutual friends, my advice is to remove yourself. Someone who can easily talk negatively about their friends while still maintaining a false friendship reveals to you that they do not have loyalty and might not even be capable of it. These are the people you need to be extremely careful with.
For more advice and tips to prepare you for the Dating and Relationship world watch this space.
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