Do matchmakers really have the upper hand when it comes to helping you find true love? Can a complete stranger decipher what you need relationship-wise? You will be surprised, there are things professional matchmakers just have a sixth sense about. ‘Love Guru’ and Relationship Expert Linda Prescott reveals What a Matchmaker Will Tell You that Nobody Will.
It takes a year to reset
From our experience matchmaking clients for many years, we know it takes at least 12 months after your last relationship to regroup. This allows enough time for you to be in a positive mental state before hopping into anything new as it means you’re emotionally available. Also being positive (and happy) is highly attractive.
Don’t rush into the kiss
Practice the three-date rule. As tempting as it is, don’t jump the gun. You need to see if you really like the person before kissing them.
Give it 3 months before you quit
The amount of time you should invest in someone to decide if he/she is the one before letting them go is three months. Often, people quit too soon and before anything can even start. Our clients who take our advice and give it a go realise that it takes time to get to know someone and you really should give your date a chance.
Sharing core values is more important than sharing hobbies
You don’t have to have the same hobbies or interests but sharing the same core values (example: respect, trust, honesty, family, religion, morals, etc.) on the other hand, is what makes a lasting, solid relationship.
Ask yourself: Can you be with this person for 10 years?
Look within and ask yourself what characteristics you’re looking for in someone who you’d want to be with the next ten or twenty years, and more. Try to visualise yourself with your partner in 10 years, what do you see?
Be careful not to set your bar too high. Don’t expect perfection or for your partner to change their values. Your friends and family might beat around the bush but we will tell you expectations into appreciation by valuing your date or partner’s positive qualities. Practice healthy and realistic expectations. Remember the bigger the wish list, the smaller the dating pool.
Learn from your failures
Learn from past relationships. It’s important to analyse what has worked and what hasn’t to ensure that history doesn’t repeat itself.
Take the second date even if you’re not so sure about your date yet
Regardless of chemistry, agree to go on a second date. Nerves often get the better of us on the first date so you don’t get a true representation of our personalities. The person you dated the first time could be completely different on the second date so don’t make snap judgements and be open-minded about the possibilities.
Three questions you should ask
When on a first date ask yourself these three questions – ‘Did I have a good time?’, ‘Are they someone my friends and family would like?’, and ‘Did I find them pleasant looking?’. If you answered yes to all three, go on that second date.
There is something more important than lust
Don’t judge potential dates based on their appearance. Lust is instant but you’re seeking real chemistry here. So, if you’re looking for a long-lasting relationship, you’re better off with matches based on compatibility (using your heads instead of your hearts) as that is what sets matchmaking agencies apart from dating apps.
You need at least 3 dates to make it happen
Love takes time and isn’t going to happen overnight. It takes more than a single date to determine a romantic connection. We found the magic number is around three dates so take your time and remember to stay open-hearted.
Be open, it’s the only way to grow
Be open to trying new things. Experiencing something new together can help love blossom and build romantic feelings. And be open to meet people who are not necessarily your type. Because you might discover that the type that works for you is not what you previously have thought.
It’s never ever too late to find love
If you’re over 40, it doesn’t mean your time is running out in the dating department. In fact, Ideal has had a lot of success stories with clients finding love after 40, 50, 60, finding love after divorce and also finding that perfect companion after the loss of a long term partner. Love is possible at any age!
Why you shouldn’t date your neighbour
Try to avoid dating someone living in the same or neighbouring suburb because it can be challenging especially if it doesn’t work out. You’ll find it hard to avoid bumping into them at the local coffee shop, dog park, or supermarket.
Stop cyber stalking your potential love interest on social media and overanalysing their posts and pictures. The best way to get to know them is to ask and talk to them personally.