So what really attracts a man? Good question. You’ve met a great guy, and you want to grab his attention. Or, maybe you’ve been with the same partner for a while, but the sparks these days are few and far between. What are the key attractor factors when you first meet someone, and how can you stay attractive to the man in your life?
Consider these seven tips
1. You Gotta Flip His Primal Switch
It doesn’t matter how cute, charming, fit or smart you may be. If the chemistry isn’t there at the get-go, it’s a no-go.
Many women can’t grasp this fundamental truth because they tend to experience ‘belated attraction’ for a man. Meaning, they get hooked not by first impressions, but after witnessing an appealing personality trait like his sense of humour, intelligence or empathetic nature.
Men, of course, are visual creatures – smile, eyes and shape– that’s the first thing a guy is going to register in a woman. After that comes her personality and attitude.
2. Ooze Confidence
You may be blessed with exceptional beauty genes, but if you lack confidence (translation: act desperate in any way) men will quickly scatter.
One of the least attractive things is insecurity and one of the most attractive is confidence. That sentiment is shared universally by men.
The good news – you alone have control of this one. The key is how you perceive and project your own beauty.
There are women who are overweight by our society’s standards, and can be sexy as hell, there’s nothing sexier to a man than a woman comfortable in her own body. Men can tell. They pick up on the energy.
And it doesn’t stop with a woman’s confidence in her looks, men find it especially attractive when a woman is confident enough in herself to not take it personally when he occasionally admires another woman. And all guys will sneak a peek from time to time. (We did mention men are visual creatures, yes?)
That being said, there are limits dictated by taste. If he’s constantly ogling other women when he’s with you, that’s just impolite and disrespectful and it is not okay.
3. Show Your Appreciation for Him
Just about any man will move mountains if you show appreciation for the things he does for you – especially the chivalrous stuff. Gush a little and be verbally appreciative every time he’s doing something masculine.
And don’t stop there. Make an effort to notice the things about him that others may not – his gentleness or empathy, for instance – and tell him why you appreciate those traits, men love this.
Men also want women to accept their compliments. Men derive an incredible amount of self-esteem out of their ability to make women feel good. There’s nothing worse for a guy than telling a woman you find her beautiful or that she’s sexy or great and having her say, ‘Oh you’re just saying that.’”
So when a man compliments you, look at him, smile and say, “Thank you. I appreciate that.”
4. Don’t Interrupt Him
If you want to connect with your guy in a deep way, start slowly. Pick a time when he’s not distracted, and start with a safe question for him (i.e. don’t ask him where he thinks your relationship is going). Unlike women, most men take a moment of silence before they answer a question. Resist the urge to fill the silence gap.
He’ll likely pause a few more times during his answer as he digs deeper into his thoughts. Continue to remain quiet until he actually tells you he’s done. And he will. When that happens, refrain from editorializing. Instead, thank him for sharing– even if you consider it conversation light compared to what you’d get from your BFF.
Keep using this method, and you’ll eventually form a deep personal bond and perhaps even strike conversational gold along the way.
5. Make An Effort To Look Good
This doesn’t mean you have to doll up every day, but a man does appreciate when you take even a few moments to spruce up for him.
And another tip: Preserve some of the mystery, no matter how many years you’ve been with the same man. Good point. There’s nothing you do in the bathroom that is going to be attractive to a man.